Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
