I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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