new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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