he was CRYING into my vagina
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
