It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
