I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
