i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
