Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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