Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
