I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
