you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
