ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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