She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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