we have pet lesbian snakes
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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