I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I touched a dick in church today
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
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