i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
it's like heaven, but drunker
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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