i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
