It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
