I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
