Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
