i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
