I want to have your abortion
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
