the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
