the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
