yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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