It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
send nudes
from the living room?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
