I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
