a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize
