I love black thongs
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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