Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
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