You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
