I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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