so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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