I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
