I just cut my nipple shaving
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Randomize
