discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
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