Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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