fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
