i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
