Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
