You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
