is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Randomize
