I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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