she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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