just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
