Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
are you so shy because you have an std?
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
