I hate all girls vehemently.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
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