can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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