You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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