I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
